From the time I became an adult, I wasted the last two months of every year.
You see, my birthday falls in November, about two weeks after Halloween. Between finishing all the candy and planning the ultimate celebration, there was no way I was going to change any behaviors, start anything new, launch an initiative, or do any soul-searching. No, all that could wait until I turned (insert age here).
But, see, Thankgiving comes two weeks after that—a holiday which I often used to host for as many as 25 people. I was hardly going to start a diet, look for a new job, renegotiate my relationship with my spouse (or with myself) before that was over. And so I waited some more.
But what happens after Thanksgiving? Well, Christmas. I had to get busy shopping—here it was, Black Friday, and I hadn’t bought a thing yet! There was a tree to decorate, cookies to be baked, presents to be wrapped, cards to be sent. It took the whole month of December. And of course the last week of the month would be recovery and the slide into New Year’s Eve.
I figure that for the 25-some years I half-assed every November and December (I’m cutting myself some slack in childhood), I wasted over four years of my life. If I had continued that pattern beyond my mid-forties to age 80, which is the minimum life span for which I’m shooting, I would have wasted a full decade.
Was there joy during that time? Sure. Were there good, valuable moments? Of course. Was I moving forward, growing, fixing stuff that needed my attention, finding a better way, choosing a better path?
Absolutely not.
So, for maybe six years now, I’ve decided to stop waiting for every holiday to pass, for the first of the month, for the beginning of the new year, for my “real,” better life to begin. I decided to stop wasting November and December.
These days, I don’t half-ass my life anymore. I have put my whole and ample ass in, and I am shaking it all about.
Yeah, that means that sometimes, I risk making an ass of myself. And I’m good with that. Because I think taking the chance of being an ass beats half-assing it every single time.
So what are you waiting for? The music’s been playing. How much of your whole self are you willing to put in?
Nice ass!
And so true. For me, that magical holiday on January first has always been such a big deal – and it still is. But I rarely prepared for it, rarely started anything before that, and of course, didn’t complete the projects I started. The past few years though have been different – ripe with possibility that I take action on. Now, those New Year’s resolutions are more of a continuation of momentum that is already building – and the momentum takes me much farther than I used to go.
Not that things don’t fade and change, to be renewed or summarily dropped later. But now, some of those things are actually moving into the delightful completed pile, or transforming into next steps and next steps and next steps. The journey really is enjoyable, as well as the prizes along the way.
THAT’S what I’m talkin’ about! Kudos. I start every year filled with so much more hope than I used to–I used to just feel panicked and daunted by all I had waited to begin.
I need to learn to stop half assing ,y life as well. I shiver at the thought of how many cumulative years I have half assed away.
It’s all too easy to do without setting the intention to be and stay present, for sure. Let me know if I can help. Maggie
That can be such a trap for me – thinking about all the time I have lost. Seems like all there is to do is forget about it and leap forward – otherwise, it just drags me down and still nothing happens.
Good point. Writer Anne Lamott says “true forgiveness is having given up all hope of having had a better past.” I think that applies to self-forgiveness, too.
I love that! Thanks Maggie
You’re welcome!
I enjoy your writing. I wish I were a better college student and not so good at facebook games and watching TV.
Thanks, Paula! I’ve had more than a few years of practice. I, too, reward myself with Facebook game breaks and watching my fave shows on demand. There’s time and space enough for work and play! : )
Love the comments. I half ass everything it seems and a lot of times can’t find the motivation and when I do, it doesn’t last. Very encouraging, if only I thought that way ALL the time, I’d be in great shape.
Motivation is definitely an inside job. Good news, actually: it’s under your control!